Shout out to a dedicated reader, Tom De Moya, Thanks for reading kind sir!
I looked in the mirror today and did not like what I saw. Strangest feeling, almost like a body dysmorphic moment. I know I look good, thanks to my wonderful family and friends who have given me so much support (also known as giving me compliments all the time…they keep me very positive about the final results)
So…this is what happened.
I was doing my jaw exercises with my mirror when I noticed my mouth…I hated it. I knew perfectly well that it looked fine but I just hated it. I propped myself up and looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. My face looked huge to me, my eyes were really far apart, and since when do I have that little wrinke above my forehead? I had no idea what was happening, I had been fine with my face so far and in less than an hour, managed to find all these things I thought were wrong.
I knew something was wrong when I started thinking “well, someone can lift my eyebrows, give me a light nose job so it’s not too noticeable, give me cheekbone implants, and remove some of that extra pudge below my chin. Perfect”
The reality? THE AFTERMATH, and it’s here.
I had been warned about this moment, I call it THE AFTERMATH. The moment when those of us who have undergone “facial reconstruction” or esthetic procedures look in the mirror and just see imperfections. I want my old face back, I kept thinking to myself. I hate this new one, its high maintenanace and I look square…and it’s just not what I wanted!
This is a typical effect on your pysche after you have undergone surgery that has changed you, physically.
Now,I’m going to get scientific on you but, did you know that the anesthesia used in operations stays in your system for three weeks? Not a biggie right? Well, if you consider the effect it has on you physically and emotionally, it becomes a huge issue. I was lucky enough to have researched this before hand. My second week after surgery I had two days where I just wanted to flunk out on everything,I was miserable. Dr. Gunsons office warns you of all these things but it seems so bizarre you don’t really play attention to it. A couple days later I was feeling tons better but, I’m not going to sugar coat anything. For anyone about to undergo surgery, the anaesthesia can have this effect….it is very short but not fun.
For me, not being able to take care of myself, so to speak, has had its challenging moments. I get angry (sometimes) when people cook for me but, I’m too weak to do it myself! I’m sick of getting tired so quickly, I’m sick of having to keep the door unlocked when I take a shower incase I pass out. I’m really sick of being so damn cold all the time due to lack of calories. Or being terrified of anything that looks icy where I could slip. I feel like a glass statue sometimes.
I realise now that this is just because i have undergone a huge trauma and your mind is telling you to be extra careful as your body is very fragile!
One more thing, as I mentioned previously, is the physical change. In one month, we have had our faces changed, our skulls changed, our airways changed, and the loss of weight has completely transformed our bodies. That is a huge amount of change. And let me tell you something, I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE. (I was the girl who used to move her room around and then cry because it just didn’t feel right.)
So this is my little “sad”post. I had some sad moments but I keep telling myself that this is normal. And I hope all my other surgery buddies know that.
Please just make sure I don’t get addicted to altering myself? Like, addicted to plastic surgery! No really, because I have weak moments where I suddenly think of butt implants and all I watch is nip/tuck where the operations look so simple! It could literally get out of control 😉
Here’s a video of someone who is now, addicted to plastic surgery.
(Jenny Lee on Larry King Live)
I can’t wait for the day when I am all back to normal and I realise how wonderful of a job the team did.I mean,look at the blogs from Gunsons patients? See any regrets there? Nah 🙂