Quick news!

Hi everyone!

wrting from my my hotel room so I’m going to be super quick!! Appointment seems to have gone well yesterday. dr Mac said my jaw was twisted a little but it’s a quick fix. Today, he’s going to do some more remodeling so I will update you all.


thank you SO much all of you for the continued support!


I have finally been in contact with all three members of the team today and I am feeling relieved. Scared and still upset, but there is a sense of intense relief from knowing that they haven’t forgotten about me.

Dr .  has two trauma patients he is taking care of so I understand he can’t get back to me right away. Those people are priority, absolutely.

That’s all I needed to hear. I understand and I can wait!!

Dr. Mac turns out, is in the hospital with his flu-infection thing. I understand that too, and again, I can wait, especially because it sounds like he’s very sick! Boooo 😦

It comes down to this:

Give me a response. Let me know that I am not forgotten.

I understand things happen, I really do, but how am I supposed to know this is all happening if you don’t tell me?


I’m not sure where I left off. Somewhere between exhausted and in pain. Now, I’m frustrated and in pain. I already updated you all about my appointment with the “stanger” doctor who basically told me he had only been made aware of my chipped tooth and nothing else. Well… That night after finally breaking down and crying, I got a call from Gunson (after mom called their office…she said she was nice, but the promptness of their phone call leads me to think differently? Lioness!) apologizing and telling me he would call me back after talking to Dr. Mac and Dr. Chira.

No call.

Now, I understand they’re busy BUT I sent an email explaining that I am in so much pain. I am taking my piroxicam anti-inflammatory and popping tylenol left and right. The pain does not go away. It’s also accompanied by a backgound headache that lingers on ALL DAY. I’m still waiting for a reply and since I sent it Thursday I figure, Ill give it until tomorrow.

I just dont know what to do. I am so tired of this whole procedure and my biggest fear at this point is giving up and “living with the pain.” My teeth are moving every day as I can actually SEE them starting to go diagonal. Perhaps its a quick fix? I don’t know but I just need answers.

Im going back to Dr. Mac in a couple weeks, a day after christmas and this time i have to go alone. Lovely. Just what I want is to have to go to NYC when everyone else is at home with their families. What a bummer.

I’m wondering what he’s going to do though? Apparently bonding of some sort, reshaping, and the like. But is anyone playing attention to the pain!? I don’t care about the shape of my teeth, I care about the pain.

I wish they would read my blog as maybe that would make them realise how much distress I’m in. I am just worried and in a lot of pain 😦

I’m a person that doesn’t do well “yelling” at people or showing anger, even when warranteed.

Leave a message after the beep.

Finally went to the “stranger” DR yesterday and poor man, I was NOT happy to be there. I don’t like any random doctor touching my face but I was willing to give him a chance because im desperate. I’m still in pain and frankly I’m mentally and physically exhausted from this whole ordeal.

So anyways, he comes into the examination room and it’s tense. You can feel it in the air, big time.  He looks at my mouth and says “I can fix the tooth, but it wont help the pain.”

I automatically start spewing out comments and questions on why he wasnt made aware that my problem was pain? Did the doctors not TELL him what was going on? I dont care about my chipped tooth at this point, I care about my 100,000 dollar reconstructed face and intense pain

Turns out, he didn’t know about the pain and I left empty handed. I had nothing done. No fixing the chip, nothing. Good part was that he didn’t charge me anything. I think he was afraid of me.

I never cried after my surgery but yesterday the tears came down 😦 I was just so over tired from everything. Not hearing back from anyone, feeling completely shut out of the world by my doctors who I have given so much of myself, my time, and work too.

To ease the stress I went to the gym where I recieved a call from Gunsons office. He apologized for the pain and called what I was going through “a complete nightmare.” I agreed with him and felt so relieved he was on my side.

He asked me if I was on the pain medication, which I told him I was and said I should even take a tranquilizer at night because me being stressed means Im clenching my jaw and that’s causing the pain to worsen. He said he wishes he lived in the neighboorhood and could see me but unfortunutly that’s just not possible.

His final say was that we just need to get me to NYC to figure out what to do.

He reminded me of how great a doctor he is, and how the whole team looks out for me. Even if they don’t reply as fast as I would appreciate, I felt much better getting that call from him. Felt like a big hug and a cookie.






A year ago today I was in a hospital room in Santa Barbara, California. Suctioning blood from my mouth and nose, I had my morphine pump in hand. (My close pal for the next 20 hours.) I shudder at the thought of what I was about to go through. The months of not eating, losing 20 pounds, and overall weakness, both physical and mental.

I wish I could say Im so happy to be done with it. But there was something about knowing “this is going to get better for me” that Im not feeling today, and that I was feeling a year ago.

My jaw is a crunching machine whenever I chew. I dont go through the day without pain or a headache. I’ve gone back to taking Advil like it’s a job…..

Im right back where I started.

To update you: I have been prescribed a strong anti inflammatory that I will start taking sunday. I could start tonight but honestly, I want to have a glass of wine this weekend and mixing meds with alcohol is never a good idea. I’ve had to make an emergency doctors appointment with a “stranger” in my area who will do something to my bite, not sure what. I fear anyone unknown touching my jaw. As someone put it I had “my jaw taken out of my skull, sawed, and fastened back in.”

I am starting to lose hope that this is really the end of my journey. Who knows if I will have to get more surgery? The thought is simply shocking, I jus’t cant imagine what it would do to me….physically, mentally, and financially.

Along with my appointment, I got an email saying I would have to get impressions done that would cost me 200 dollars for the labor, shipping.

My first thought is “no, I cant afford anything more. I just spent more then five hundred dollars to go to New York City for an appointment that was cancelled.” But then I think to myself, what else am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to live every day in pain again? Waking up at night with excruciating aches?

It just doesn’t seem fair?

Thanks to everyone for all your support. Hugs.

Get Jaw Surgery: see the world.

I am sitting in a small bar in a side alley in the middle of New York City.

A crisp, cold glass of wine in hand.This morning after three hours of sleep, I woke up and departed for my appointment with dr Mac. I landed, cellphone rings.

Dr Mac is sick and my appointment is cancelled.

I kid you not.

After spending hundreds of dollars on two plane tickets ( of course, I begged my mother to come with me) we are back at the airport for our 10:30 p.m. flight back home.

I am obviously sorry that the doctor is sick. I just can’t believe that after everything, I am still in discomfort… and a chunk of dollars poorer.

I am trying to stay upbeat by thinking that maybe this means Dr. Mac will come up to see me next time. He visits up North a few times a year and I’m hoping that maybe he can just see me up here? I just cant afford another trip down there. And for those of you wondering if I did calm my sadness with cupcakes and shopping? No. Shopping? Yes. But there were no cupcakes.
My day was an emotional roller coaster. One second I was happy to be in New York City, my favorite American city. The next I was so upset to think of the money I had spent to get down there and the idea that I am back to square one.

Am I expecting too much? I know my pain matters to the doctors but there are so many factors that are pointing me in the direction of “these people just don’t care anymore.” I sometime feel like “Im done with the surgery, why should they even play attention to how im doing?”

As a conclusion to this entry. BE AWARE. Having jaw surgery is a life time commitment. Yes, you’re paying for surgery and yes, overall it ended up being about 100,000 dollars…but add on the trips you have to take. New York City and Santa Barbara are neither close nor cheap….Heck, they are probably in the top most expensive cities to visit.
I know the costs will pay off someday..when Im all healed. Oh, and also when I buy my parents a:
and, let’s add an albino baboon to that combination for all the “incidentals” that occurred before, during, and now after my surgery.

The costs just never seem to EVER end 😦
Thank you again for all your well wishes.


I am happy to say that I did receive  a response and I was informed that Gunson knows of my pain and they will contact the doctor in New York City after my appointment.

Meanwhile, its 12:40 a.m and I got out of work an hour ago. I have to get on that plane at 6 am which means I need to wake up at 4 am. Goodness gracious.

This doctors appointment in NYC is going to be so important as I will finally get some treatment for my pain. How he’ll do it? I dont know. Will it work?

I’ve decided to take advantage of NYC and bring my savings with me. No, Im not spending everything in anticipaton for the apocapyse that is booked to occur in about two weeks. I am shopping for me 🙂 Boots, dresses, shirts oh my! I am so thankful my appointment is in the afternoon.

If I get bad news, just plan on finding me in an upper manhattan cupcake store surrounded my tons of bags and eating everything. Stressed IS desserts spelt backwards afterall….

Thank you all so much for your messages, thoughts, and prayers. They mean so much!
I am definetly relieved to have a response. I have put all my trust in Gunson and it’s still iI know that, god forbid, if anything was gravely wrong with my jaw, he would go to extremes to fix it and help me.